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Assorted Goofiness
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	George W. Bush
	"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, andas we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, wereally don't need anybody's permission."—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century) Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq inNational Press Conference," March 6, 2003

	Random Quote
	"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." — Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice. (1982)

	Snapple Facts
	#153 The speed limit in NYC was 8 mph in 1895.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker

	One Liners
	Q: What do you call the blonde corpse in your attic? A: 1995 hide-and-seek champion!

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	3rd Grade Exam Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade ... 09.29.2009 And There Will Be Balance God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, ... 07.23.2009 Texas Sheriff Job Interview A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department ... 02.04.2009 Nordakota Cow... Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new ... 01.25.2009

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	You Grew Up In Rural Iowa If . . . For all you Iowa wanna be's and those who love Iowan's, ... 10.14.2008 Mason Vs. Dixon A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee ... 05.24.2008 How To Install A Home Security System In The South 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's ... 02.25.2008 Oklahoma Leads In Communication History Last January the New Orleans Times Picayune reported ... 01.23.2008

Two Years Ago
	Redneck Vasectomy After having their 11th child, a redneck couple on welfare decided that their family finally was big enough, their monthly check wasn't big enough for them to rent a bigger trailer, and they were both too lazy to go get a job. 10.30.2007 The NZ Shipwreck Survivors A New Zealander, a sheep and a dog were survivors ... 08.30.2007 A Redneck's Pet On a hot summer day in Pennsylvania, a redneck came into town with his dog ... 07.25.2007 Ghost Sex A professor at University of Arkansas was giving a ... 07.09.2007

Lookie Here!
	The Spy Who Shagged Me

	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.