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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
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George W. Bush |
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"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it." —Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa Source: White House, "President Bush Discusses Upcoming Africa Trip with Reporters Remarks by the President in Roundtable Interview with African Print Journalists," July 3, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats onthem. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#214 Giraffes can link their own eyes.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly she scares the roaches away.
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One Liners |
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Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here."
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 Stolen Bicycle | | By: Dove | Published: 05/10/1999 | | |  |
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A small, poor Southern town had two churches - a Baptist and a
Methodist church. The ministers of these churches knew that the
congregation could only afford to provide them with bicycles for
transportation and small
salary. Both agreed to these terms.
One day, the Methodist minister was riding through town and saw
the Baptist minister walking. "Brother," he said, "where is
your bicycle?" The Baptist minister replied, "Sadly, someone
has stolen it." The Methodist minister thought on this a
moment and then said, "Tell you what, when you preach this
Sunday, preach on the ten commandments. When you get to 'Thou
shalt not steal', really bear down on it and maybe whoever took
your bicycle will get to feeling bad
and bring it back."
The Baptist minister agreed that perhaps that might work, and
so, the following Sunday he did just that.
Later that week, the Methodist minister and the Baptist minister
meet up in town again. This time, the Baptist minister was
riding his bicycle. "I see the sermon worked", said the
Methodist minister. "Well, yes and no", the Baptist replied.
"I did like you suggested, and preached on the ten commandments,
but, when I got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery', I
remembered
where I left my bicycle".
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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The "heat" of peppers is rated on the Scoville scale.
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