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George W. Bush
 
"What is your ambitions?"—Bush, speaking at the Parkview Arts and Science Magnet School Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at a Back-to-School Event," Aug. 29, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place."
— Douglas Adams
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#172 The eye makes movements 50 times every second.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
has a short arm and can't applaud.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What does it mean when the flag at the post offiice is flying at half-mast?
A: They're hiring.
 
 


A Businessman's Salvation

By: PortaJonPublished: 02/02/2001
 
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A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into it, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do. Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible, the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I had three chapter 11 scams. (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (02.06.2001 12:19:09 PM EST)

    I was divinely inspired!

    pretty funny (0 replies)
    started by therealbigdog
    (02.04.2001 11:02:45 PM EST)

    Although it really sucks when someone who owes you money files for chapter 11.

    still stupid (0 replies)
    started by drkangel18
    (02.03.2001 5:07:22 PM EST)

    even after the joke has been explained it is still stupid but hey good try.

    how does (0 replies)
    started by paparoach1
    (02.02.2001 3:13:24 PM EST)

    going bankrupt get you rich

    We're going to infest

    fuck off gibons (0 replies)
    started by vikingend1
    (02.02.2001 12:23:25 PM EST)

    what was the point of this joke

    I hate to explain jokes, but (1 reply)
    started by zyxwv
    (02.02.2001 11:29:17 AM EST)

    Chapter 11 is one of the chapters of the bankruptcy code dealing with business bankruptcies. To "file Chapter 11" means to file for bankruptcy.

    If you're not careful, you can learn something every day.

    The artist formerly known as "Anonymous Frog"

    Funny (0 replies)
    started by thelizard
    (02.02.2001 9:25:14 AM EST)

    that actually made me chuckle...

    Poison Clan rocks the world !!!!

    Sorry But (0 replies)
    started by beatch69
    (02.02.2001 7:00:51 AM EST)

    WHAT THE FUCK. I must be stupid as well because I don't get it either

    huh (0 replies)
    started by drkangel18
    (02.02.2001 2:20:07 AM EST)

    okay is it just me or does this joke not make any sense at all??? Hey I may just be stupid i dunno.

    That was soooo boring (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (02.02.2001 0:15:20 AM EST)

    ya and the yo momma is sooo old !!!!!!!

    gay (0 replies)  
    started by bigding
    (02.02.2001 0:12:23 AM EST)

    wtf

    what up

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