Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

S
upport Goofball.com

George W. Bush
 
"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." - Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
— Gloria Steinem
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#48 Cats can hear ultrasound.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She runs on diesel!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
 
 


Abstinence Makes Something Grow

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 05/29/2001
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor. The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Policeman Marks Girl For Sex
  • The Sex Sense
  • Candy Corn Sex
  • Church bulletins
  • A Dog Named Sex
  • Stupid sex laws
  • The New Church
  • Sex Change Doctor on trial for Murder
  • Polish Sex Quiz
  • Anal Sex Euphemisms
  • Magic Sex Shoes
  • You know you're at a Redneck Church if...
  • Martian Sex
  • Arkansas Sex Test
  • Superman's Sex Life
  • Was That Sex?
  • The human male sex drive according to Bill Clinton
  • Safe Canadian Sex
  • Have Sex, Stay Young
  • Sex Store Clerk Gets Lucky With Would Be Robber

  • More Religious Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    believe it or not (0 replies)
    started by therealbigdog
    (05.29.2001 10:04:05 PM EST)

    I heard that joke 25 years ago only it was an A&P. Laughed my ass off then and it's still one of my favorites.

    Out of the way, guy, (0 replies)
    started by willi
    (05.29.2001 8:19:45 PM EST)

    cause I'm here to give her a second coat!

    I'm a facepainter at heart.

    what the hell (0 replies)
    started by paparoach1
    (05.29.2001 12:09:47 PM EST)

    this joke is like 3 or 4 years old.why is it being posted now.

    We're going to infest

    You're right, SK! (0 replies)
    started by NakedCanuck
    (05.29.2001 9:58:27 AM EST)


    That's why I'm not allowed to go to the Safeway any more....

    The Naked Canuck
    Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
    didn't it used to be... (0 replies)
    started by SuicideKing
    (05.29.2001 2:07:22 AM EST)

    I thought the original version was in the grocery store? hmm...anyways I hate when that happens...


    §Üî©ìÐéK‡ñG
    Killers are silent

    1st (1 reply)  
    started by n6al
    (05.29.2001 1:47:33 AM EST)

    1st

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Graveside Service
    A young preacher was asked by a funeral director to ...
    04.11.2008

    God And The Scientist
    God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist ...
    02.15.2008

    The Afterlife
    An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first ...
    02.14.2008

    The Eulogy Of Seamus O'Malley
    Brothers Mike and Seamus O'Malley were the two richest ...
    01.19.2008

    Rate This!

    3.40 Goofballs of 5
    10 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    #2 Pencil
    Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic ...
    04.30.2007

    Clergy Freebees
    One day a Pastor went to a barber shop for a haircut. ...
    03.17.2007

    Once A Baptist, Always A Baptist
    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a ...
    03.13.2007

    The Dying Priest
    An old priest was dying. He sent a message for ...
    03.08.2007

    Two Years Ago
    We Are But Dust...
    A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory ...
    03.01.2006

    Praise The Lord!
    There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped ...
    12.15.2005

    Divine Parking Place
    Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because ...
    12.14.2005

    The Bible & PMS
    A preacher was telling his congregation that anything ...
    10.02.2005

    Lookie Here!
    The Solo Joke Book

    Goofball Facts
     
    Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.