A man is hoping to be admitted through the Pearly Gates and St. Peter says to him, "I can't see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what, if you can tell me one really good deed that you did, you're in."
So the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang's leader -- a huge, ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head and a chain running from his nose to his ear. Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron.
Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, "'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
Impressed, St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file. When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago."
