A priest is in his church on Saturday afternoon hearing confessions. A man walks in, kneels down and says, "Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession - these are my sins. Last night I had sex with Nookie Green."
"That is your sin?"
"Yes, Father."
"You are forgiven. Go out and say one Our Father."
The man leaves, and another enters the confessional and kneels. "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. These are my sins. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month."
The priest thinks to himself that this Nookie Green woman is fairly popular with his male parishioners! "Those are your sins?"
"Yes, Father."
"You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys."
The man left. Soon, another entered and knelt. "Father, it has been six months since my last confession, and these are my sins. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last six months."
This time the priest has to ask, "Who is this Nookie Green?"
"Just a woman I know, Father," came the reply.
"Very well," said the priest, "You are forgiven. Go out and say ten hail Marys."
The next morning the priest was giving the sermon in front of his congregation. The doors flew open in the back of the church and in walked a tall, gorgeous red-headed woman with a green sequined dress, green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather. She walked straight up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest, her knees apart. The priest just stared.
He finally caught himself and leaned over to ask the alter boy. "Pssssst. Is that Nookie Green?"
The alter boy had a long, hard look and said, "No, Father. I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."
