So, it was getting a little crowded in Heaven and God decided to change the
admission policy. The new rule: To get into Heaven, you must have had a real
bummer of a last day on earth.
The next day at 12:01 a.m., the first new soul came knockin' on Heaven's door.
The Angel in charge, enforcing the new policy, promptly said to the man,
"Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when
you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home unannounced to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to
be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began
searching for him. My wife was crying and carrying on, but I scoured the apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed
a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of the SOB!
Well, I ran out there and stomped on his fingers until he fell.
But, wouldn't you know it, he lands in some trees and bushes that broke his
fall. This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get
something to throw at him. The first thing I saw was the refrigerator. I
unplugged it, pushed it onto the balcony and flipped it over the side.
It plummeted the 25 floors and crushed him!
Unfortunately, the stress brought on by all of this was so great that I had
a heart attack and died right on the spot."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy didn't belong,
but he did have one very bad last day, guilty only of a crime of passion.
So, the Angel said, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
Minutes later, another man approached. The Angel said, "Before I can
let you in, you must tell me what your final day was like."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe this.
I'm on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises.
I'd been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve
my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally
fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips
on the balcony below mine. But then all of a sudden this wild man comes running
out of his apartment cursing a blue streak and starts stomping on my fingers.
Well, of course, I can't hold on. Luckily, I drop through some trees, breaking
my fall, and I land in some bushes. I'm battered but alive. As I'm lying there
face up on the ground unable to move, I see the lunatic push a refrigerator
off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands right on top of me. Lights out!"
The Angel quietly laughs to himself as the man finishes his story. "Very well,
my son" the Angel says, "welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man
enter.
Minutes later another man comes along. The angel says, "Please tell me how you
died."
The third man says, "OK, now picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a
refrigerator..."
