Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, andas we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, wereally don't need anybody's permission."—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century) Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq inNational Press Conference," March 6, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
— Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm haddestroyed 20 books. (1991)
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#153 The speed limit in NYC was 8 mph in 1895.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do you call the blonde corpse in your attic?
A: 1995 hide-and-seek champion!
 
 


How To Stop A Burglar

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 07/10/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.

The burglar froze in place and didn't move. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood.

"What did you say to him that kept him from moving?" they asked the woman.

She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. "Why did the woman's quoting scripture scare you so much?" they asked.

"Scripture?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38's!"

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • The New Priest
  • The priest and the trucker
  • From one priest to another
  • Confession
  • Freudian Slip
  • Nun, Preist and Camel
  • Unholy Holy Water
  • Jackie's Joke of the Day - August 23, 2000
  • Woman Awakens From Coma, Has Twins
  • Corn on the Cob
  • Prostitute Parrots
  • The Statue
  • Jackie's Joke of the Day - September 1, 2000
  • Actual Letters Sent to Landlords...
  • Prostitute Parrots
  • Unfortunate Husband
  • Jackies Joke of the day for June 23, 2000
  • Application to live in Mississippi
  • A Case of Puppy Love
  • Burglary Case Wrapped Up

  • More Religious Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

    You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Graveside Service
    A young preacher was asked by a funeral director to ...
    04.11.2008

    God And The Scientist
    God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist ...
    02.15.2008

    The Afterlife
    An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first ...
    02.14.2008

    The Eulogy Of Seamus O'Malley
    Brothers Mike and Seamus O'Malley were the two richest ...
    01.19.2008

    Rate This!

    2.73 Goofballs of 5
    114 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    #2 Pencil
    Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic ...
    04.30.2007

    Clergy Freebees
    One day a Pastor went to a barber shop for a haircut. ...
    03.17.2007

    Once A Baptist, Always A Baptist
    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a ...
    03.13.2007

    The Dying Priest
    An old priest was dying. He sent a message for ...
    03.08.2007

    Two Years Ago
    We Are But Dust...
    A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory ...
    03.01.2006

    Praise The Lord!
    There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped ...
    12.15.2005

    Divine Parking Place
    Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because ...
    12.14.2005

    The Bible & PMS
    A preacher was telling his congregation that anything ...
    10.02.2005

    Lookie Here!
    Austin Powers: International Man of...

    Goofball Facts
     
    The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.