Crappy Sermons
By: acidinterval	Published: 04/08/2002
One day a priest took a walk around his church and was very dissapointed to see that it was in bad shape. He needed to get some money to fix the church. This priest was smart, though, and he decided to hypnotize the congregation during his sermon. Well, one Sunday he was up at the pulpit talking away, when he casually pulled out a gold pocket watch and began to sway it back and forth, over and over again. While he was doing this, he talked about money. "I need to fix this church up. I can't do it without your help and monetary support," he said. At the collection he got more than twice the usual amount. The priest was very happy and did this for several weeks. Months later, a man walked into the local grocery store, saw the priest and went over to say hi. "Hey, how's it going? I haven't seen you in a long while. Where ya been?" the man asked. "Well," the priest answered, "I was doing great with this whole hypnosis thing. It worked like a charm, until one day I was up at the podium swinging the watch when the chain broke and the watch went flying and I yelled, 'CRAP!' I've been cleaning the church ever since." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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There are very few new Jokes (9 replies) started by thegrandpatron (04.08.2002 9:04:13 AM EST) Most Jokes are remakes, redues, different takes, or updated. It seems like I've heard every joke ever told. It's a curse from God I think. Or else that Voodoo Witch I fucked in the Bahamas is still pissed because I also fuck her better looking sister. One example: The Amazing Claude Published: 02/28/2002 http://www.goofball.com/jokes/misc/INC20011213162534 ...and let me just redue Lady Bugs comment from then: Wonder what would have happened...... (2 replies) started by ladybug (02.28.2002 7:19:11 PM EST) ...if he had said, "F*ck!"

well he could... (0 replies) started by dtahellyeah (04.08.2002 5:19:41 AM EST) have said holy shit.then they would be praying to their shit. Don't Trust Anyone

Good Job .... (11 replies) started by marvin (04.08.2002 2:18:47 AM EST) he didn't yell "FUCK!"

Yeah KB (0 replies) started by roger (04.08.2002 1:11:26 AM EST) at our age shit doesn't always happen. Funny ass joke Acid Just protecting my sheep

Hahahahaahahha. (0 replies)   started by kweenbee (04.08.2002 0:40:57 AM EST) Maybe I should consult him about my constipation. Love the country, live to pee outside!

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