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Hick in Heaven

By: mttartagliaPublished: 06/10/2000
 
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A man from Kentucky dies, and goes to the pearly gates. He is talking with St. Peter, who informs the man of how bad he's been, but also tells him how many good things he's done. The man is delighted, and asks if he can enter now.

"No, sorry," said Peter.

"Why not?" The man asked.

Peter told the man that in order to get in, he would have to answer three questions correctly, and that the questions increased in difficulty.

"Here's the first question," Peter said. "How many seconds are in a year?"

The man immediately replied, "Why, that's simple. There are 12 seconds in a year."

St. Peter says no, but the man persists.

"There sure are," he said. "January second, February second, March second . . ."

"Fine, fine," says Peter. "You got me there."

"Next question," he continues, "which month has 28 days?"

After about an hour, the man comes back to Peter and says all.

Peter says no, but the man tells him that they all do have 28 days, but most have more.

Peter, fed up with the man's luck, becomes angry and gives him a hard question.

Peter tells the man to give him God's first name.

The man walks away, and comes back two hours later with the answer of Harold.

Peter laughs and scorns him, and says that he cannot get into heaven now.

The man says that Peter is lying.

Peter tells hims to prove it.

The man simply replies, "It says it in that prayer, 'Our father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name'!"

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DISABLE DNS (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.14.2000 1:11:29 PM EST)

The family had been called to come to dinner. When all had been seated, Johnny unzipped his fly, pulled out his dick, and started to masturbate. 'What in hell are you doing?' asked his father. 'The dinner table is no place for you to be doing a thing like that. If you have to do it, at least wait until bed time!' 'All I know," replied Johnny, 'is, my health teacher said if we want good digestion, we gotta masticate slowly every time we eat.'

Gay guy says to the straight guy, 'Let's play Hide and... read more


. . . (0 replies)
started by spoiler
(06.12.2000 10:58:20 AM EST)

I hate when people do that. ArthurSam, get a life, you queer.

.... (0 replies)
started by ArthurSamIII
(06.11.2000 6:01:22 PM EST)


Hick in Heaven
Submitted By: mttartaglia
06/10/2000
A man from Kentucky dies, and goes to the pearly gates. He is talking with St. Peter, who informs the man of how bad he's been, but also tells him how many good things he's done. The man is delighted, and asks if he can enter now.

"No, sorry," said Peter.

"Why not?" The man asked.

Peter told the man that in order to get in, he would have to answer three questions correctly, and that the questions increased in difficulty.

"Here's the first question," Peter said. "How many seconds are in a year?"

The man immediately replied, "Why, that's simple. There are 12 seconds in a year."

St. Peter says no, but the man persists.

"There sure are," he said. "January second, February second, March second . . ."

"Fine, fine," says Peter. "You got me there."

"Next question," he continues, "which month has 28 days?"

After about an hour, the man comes back to Peter and says all.

Peter says no, but the man tells him that they all do have 28 days, but most have more.

Peter, fed up with the man's luck, becomes angry and gives him a hard question.

Peter tells the man to give him God's first name.

The man walks away, and comes back two hours later with the answer of Harold.

Peter laughs and scorns him, and says that he cannot get into heaven now.

The man says that Peter is lying.

Peter tells hims to prove it.

The man simply replies, "It says it in that prayer, 'Our father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name'!"

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Man (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.11.2000 6:00 PM EST)
Goofball.com is getting lamer by the second.I remember when their jokes were actually FUNNY!

jacob (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.10.2000 8:01 PM EST)
that really sucked


I thought my name was... (0 replies)
started by santochia
(06.10.2000 12:45 PM EST)
For the first five years of my life, I thought my name was "Jesus Christ" get in here!
so eat that shit

I thought it was Andy... (0 replies)
started by OliverClozoff
(06.10.2000 2:49 AM EST)
Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... Alternate joke: I thought God was his first name, and his last name was Dammit!
;o)



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Arthur Sam III

Man (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.11.2000 5:00:42 PM EST)

Goofball.com is getting lamer by the second.I remember when their jokes were actually FUNNY!

jacob (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.10.2000 7:01:31 PM EST)

that really sucked

I thought my name was... (0 replies)
started by santochia
(06.10.2000 11:45:22 AM EST)

For the first five years of my life, I thought my name was "Jesus Christ" get in here!

so eat that shit

I thought it was Andy... (0 replies)  
started by OliverClozoff
(06.10.2000 1:49:28 AM EST)

Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... Alternate joke: I thought God was his first name, and his last name was Dammit!

;o)

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


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