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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
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Snapple Facts |
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#90 The average raindrop falls at 7mph.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid that she is sold the car for gas money.
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One Liners |
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Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.
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Quick Joke |
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Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
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 The Jewish rules | | By: Fritz Rabinowitz | Published: 08/04/1999 | | |  |
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A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the
orthodox rabbi for their final session.
The rabbi asks if they have any final questions.
The man asks, "Is it true that men and women don't dance
together?"
"Yes," says the rabbi, "For modesty reasons, men and women dance
separately."
"So I can't dance with my own wife?"
"No."
"Well, okay," says the man, "but what about sex?"
"Fine," says the rabbi. "A mitzvah within the marriage!"
"What about different positions?" the man asks.
"No problem," says the rabbi.
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Why not?" replies the rabbi.
"How about doggie-style?"
"Of course!"
"Well, what about standing up?"
"NO!" says the rabbi....
"Why Not???" asks the man.
"Could lead to dancing!"
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Banging your head against the wall burns 150 calories an hour.
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