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	George W. Bush
	"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

	Random Quote
	"... and on our show tonight we have five Miss America contestants and also some dogs. I mean real dogs ... Come on, now, you know I mean dogs that bark!" — Johnny Carson

	Snapple Facts
	#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

	One Liners
	Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs? A. Right where you left him.

Most Recent
	Flat Belly A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his ... 11.15.2008 Wife In a Coma Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath .One of them was washing her private area and noticed a slight response whenever she touched her there ... 10.29.2008 Abe Lincoln A man wearing a stovepipe hat, a fake beard, and a ... 10.10.2008 The Urinal Is Too High A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by ... 10.03.2008

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	What a Coincidence A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. 11.30.2007 What a Coincidence A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. 11.29.2007 Still Not Hungry?? A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon ... 11.26.2007 What A Scotsman Wears Under His Kilt A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path ... 11.25.2007

Two Years Ago
	Escapee A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. 11.11.2006 Elderly Sexual Position Two old women talking over coffee happened upon the ... 11.03.2006 30 Year Reunion Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party ... 10.29.2006 Sunday Afternoon Quickie John and Marsha decided that the only way to pull ... 10.16.2006

Lookie Here!
	Our Dumb Century

	Goofball Facts
	In any given hour, at least 61,000 people are airbourne over the US.