A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to
a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a l
ittle perch. The parrot doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy
says out loud, "Jeez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born without legs or feet," says the parrot. "I'm a defective
parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually
understood what I said and answered me."
"I understood every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto
your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "This is a little embarrassing, but since you
asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar,
kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because it's covered by my
feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "You really can understand and answer, can't
you?"
"Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with
'competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics,
philosophy and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to buy me.
I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. He says. "I can't
afford that."
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing.
"Nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can get
me for $20 just make an offer."
The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He's funny, he's interesting,
he's a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, gives good
advice. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst,"
and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not", says the parrot, "But
it's about your wife and the mailman"
"What?" says the guy.
"Well," the parrot says, "When the mailman came to the door today your
wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgown and
began petting her all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began to
lick her body, starting with her breasts slowly going down and down."
The parrot pauses for a long time...
"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
"I don't know," says the Parrot, "My dick got hard and I fell off my
perch."
