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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it." —Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa Source: White House, "President Bush Discusses Upcoming Africa Trip with Reporters Remarks by the President in Roundtable Interview with African Print Journalists," July 3, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#214 Giraffes can link their own eyes.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
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 A Dog Named Sex | | By: bigtomato | Published: 11/05/2000 | | |  |
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Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex.
Now "Sex" has been very embarrassing for me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for "Sex." He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said,
"But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't understand. I've had 'Sex' since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for "Sex." He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. 'Sex' keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered "Sex" in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have "Sex" in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have 'Sex' on TV." He called
me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had 'Sex' before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, 'Sex' left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night "Sex" ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for 'Sex'."
My case comes up Friday.
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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More Sex Jokes...
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| Title: |
Mizike is right |
| By: |
obiwan
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| Date: |
11.05.2000 5:58 PM EST |
Absolutely. E-chuta!
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Current Thread and Replies |
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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The longest time someone has typed on a typewriter continuously is 264 hrs., set by Violet Gibson Burns.
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