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George W. Bush |
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"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
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Snapple Facts |
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#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid that she is sold the car for gas money.
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One Liners |
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Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.
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 Widows Dating Advice | | By: thegrandpatron | Published: 10/06/2002 | | |  |
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Martha and Emma, two widows, are talking.
Martha: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date...I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him, before I give him my answer."
Emma: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment, punctually, at 7PM, and dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit. He brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there, but a beautiful car -- a limousine, uniformed chauffeur an all.
Then he takes me out for a marvelous lobster dinner, we go see a show -- let me tell you, Martha, I enjoyed it so much. I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"
Martha: "Goodness gracious! So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"
Emma: "No! I'm just saying, wear an old dress." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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Twice Eh ?
(0 replies)
started by
marvin
(10.06.2002 5:10:35 AM EST)
Yeah he stayed for a week !
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Jekyl and Hyde
(0 replies)
started by
willi
(10.06.2002 0:40:01 AM EST)
Oh yeah, George Johnson is a delight but the real fun didn't begin until George's johnson raised it's ugly head!
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Goofball Facts |
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40% of Americans snoop in the medicine cabinets of homes they visit.
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Love the country, live to pee outside!
