Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right." - Rome, July 22, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
There was a typo in lawyers Ed Morrison's ad. His logo is: "Your case is no stronger than your attorney," not "stranger."
— newspaper correction from the Tulsa (Okla.) Gusher
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#68 The longest one syllabled word is "screeched".
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroids
 
 


What I've Learned From Watching Porn

By: acidintervalPublished: 01/13/2003
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Inside Secrets to Owning Women
Related Links
  • Porno Movies
  • Mugger Has Seen Too Many Jackie Chan Movies
  • A Day At The Movies
  • Movie Buffs Unite!
  • Movie Trailer Answering Machine Message
  • Homemade movie
  • Movie Clip Monkey
  • Old Man's Movie Theater
  • Interngate: The Movie
  • Movie Popcorn
  • Movie Madness
  • Christina Applegate Movie
  • Elian, The Movie
  • Roseanna Arquette Movie
  • Chicken Horror Movie
  • Windows 95...The Movie
  • Elle McPherson Movie Clip
  • Wow, A Pamela Anderson Movie?
  • Movie Mistakes
  • Scary Movie Preview

  • More Sex Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    oh yeah (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (01.13.2003 7:19:56 PM EST)

    just as I thought...lmfao
    good one

    Yeah, and (0 replies)
    started by meesha
    (01.13.2003 12:22:57 PM EST)

    anal sex happens frequently and women *love* it....lol

    Meow

    These are FUNNY! (2 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (01.13.2003 9:10:51 AM EST)

    I guess any time I want to attract a female, all I have to do is follow rule #5. LOL!

    Great stuff, Acid. Thanks, buddy.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    It's how I live my life, (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (01.13.2003 7:03:16 AM EST)


    execpt #22 and #26 aren't true.

    hmmm fecal matter (0 replies)
    started by suicideking
    (01.13.2003 3:05:53 AM EST)

    beer.


    §Üî©ìÐéK‡ñG
    Sorry kids, I killed Santa..

    Not only that but ... (0 replies)  
    started by seaweedy
    (01.13.2003 2:08:12 AM EST)

    also ... when there are 2 women with 2 men, the women will always find time to lick each other's pussy, but the men will never match that action by blowing each other.

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Billy Bob
    In a small town in Tennessee, Big Bubba decides it's ...
    08.18.2008

    Your Daughter Is Pregnant
    A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked ...
    08.17.2008

    The Sensitive Man
    A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they ...
    06.07.2008

    I Think You're The Father Of One Of My Kids....
    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive ...
    06.04.2008

    Rate This!

    3.29 Goofballs of 5
    7 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Do You Have A Good Health Plan?
    A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around ...
    08.25.2007

    Making Love In The VW
    Steve and Fiona were making passionate love in Steve's ...
    08.18.2007

    All Grandpas, Heed This WARNING:
    Do not lose your grandkids in the mall. A small ...
    08.16.2007

    Grandpa's Advice
    I hope that this will once again confirm that the ...
    08.03.2007

    Two Years Ago
    If Only ...
    A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking Vegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the Hooker, "How much do you charge?"
    08.25.2006

    Quickie
    The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie ...
    07.26.2006

    Do I Know You?
    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello ...
    06.27.2006

    A Visit To The Zoo
    It's a beautiful, warm, spring morning and a man and ...
    05.21.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Al Franken : Why Not Me?

    Goofball Facts
     
    The most common speed limit in the U.S. is 25 m.p.h.