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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
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George W. Bush |
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"But we will bring the weapons and, of course—we will bring the information forward on the weapons when they find them. And that will end up—end all this speculation. I understand there has been a lot of speculation over in Great Britain, we've got a little bit of it here, about whether or not the—whether or not the actions were based upon valid information. We can debate that all day long, until the truth shows up." —Bush, unwavering in his certainty that one way or another WMDs will appear in Iraq Source: The White House, "President Bush, Prime Minister Blair Discuss War on Terrorism," July 17, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listento on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was..."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#213 The largest ball of twine in the US weighs over 17,000 pounds.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly she practices birth control by leaving the lights on!
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One Liners |
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Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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 The Gorilla And The Redneck | | By: bigjohn2 | Published: 12/31/2004 | | |  |
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A small Arkansas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Ted Standen, a redneck part-time worker, who was responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.
Ted, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The administrator thought they might have a solution. Ted was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Ted showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ted announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions:
"First," Ted said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition. "Second," Ted said, "you must never tell anyone about this" The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition. "Third," Ted said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed. And last of all Ted stated "You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00."
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan"
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