Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet." - Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
— Bill Gates, 1981
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#133 Honeybees navigate by using the sun as a compass.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
A: Well Hung.
 
 


MY NEXT LIFE By George Carlin

By: acidintervalPublished: 09/23/2008
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

Type:Unknown
Download:

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Sex Jokes...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Gynecologist's Assistant
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown ...
11.13.2009

A Whopping Baby Boy
An LSU fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Louisiana baby boy weighing 25 pounds...
09.27.2009

Secret Surgery
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon ...
08.11.2009

Woodpecker Bragging Rights
A Texas woodpecker and a New Mexico woodpecker were ...
03.05.2009

Rate This!

1.77 Goofballs of 5
44 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Flat Belly
    A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his ...
    11.15.2008

    Wife In a Coma
    Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath .One of them was washing her private area and noticed a slight response whenever she touched her there ...
    10.29.2008

    Abe Lincoln
    A man wearing a stovepipe hat, a fake beard, and a ...
    10.10.2008

    The Urinal Is Too High
    A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by ...
    10.03.2008

    Two Years Ago
    A Wise Old Man
    An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend ...
    09.14.2007

    Do You Have A Good Health Plan?
    A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around ...
    08.25.2007

    Making Love In The VW
    Steve and Fiona were making passionate love in Steve's ...
    08.18.2007

    All Grandpas, Heed This WARNING:
    Do not lose your grandkids in the mall. A small ...
    08.16.2007

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    Dogs can hear sounds that you cant.