"I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race." - Describing a phone call to Sen. John Breaux. Crawford, Texas, Dec. 2, 2000
Random Quote
"Whoever designed the streets must have been drunk ... I think it was those Irish guys." — Minnesota govenor Jesse Ventura, commenting on the often confusing streets in St. Paul
Snapple Facts
#80 About 18% of Animal owners share their bed with their pet.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
One Liners
Q. Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down? A. Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
Quick Joke
Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Super sex!
Super sex!"
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. She flipped her gown up in front of him and said, "Super sex."
He sat silently for a moment or two looking up at her. Then he finally answered: "I'll take the soup.
I guess I shouldn't laugh, I don't even remember submitting this one. LOL
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A Whopping Baby Boy An LSU fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Louisiana baby boy weighing 25 pounds...
09.27.2009
Secret Surgery A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon ...
08.11.2009
Flat Belly A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his ...
11.15.2008
Wife In a Coma Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath .One of them was washing her private area and noticed a slight response whenever she touched her there ...
10.29.2008
Time To Do The Dishes Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
03.03.2008
After 25 Years A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.
03.02.2008
It's Go Time A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting.
03.01.2008
