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Assorted Goofiness
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	George W. Bush
	"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be - a literate country and a hopefuller country." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001

	Random Quote
	"Mullin, wearing the crew cut and the dribble..." — Al Trautwig, doing a play-by-play of a Knicks-Pacers game

	Snapple Facts
	#71 There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

	One Liners
	Q. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A. Quatro sinko.

Most Recent
	Gynecologist's Assistant A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown ... 11.13.2009 A Whopping Baby Boy An LSU fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Louisiana baby boy weighing 25 pounds... 09.27.2009 Secret Surgery A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon ... 08.11.2009 Woodpecker Bragging Rights A Texas woodpecker and a New Mexico woodpecker were ... 03.05.2009

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Flat Belly A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his ... 11.15.2008 Wife In a Coma Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath .One of them was washing her private area and noticed a slight response whenever she touched her there ... 10.29.2008 Abe Lincoln A man wearing a stovepipe hat, a fake beard, and a ... 10.10.2008 The Urinal Is Too High A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by ... 10.03.2008

Two Years Ago
	A Wise Old Man An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend ... 09.14.2007 Do You Have A Good Health Plan? A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around ... 08.25.2007 Making Love In The VW Steve and Fiona were making passionate love in Steve's ... 08.18.2007 All Grandpas, Heed This WARNING: Do not lose your grandkids in the mall. A small ... 08.16.2007

Lookie Here!
	The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	No high jumper has ever been able to stay off the ground for more than a second!