"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical—medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it." Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002
Random Quote
"My girlfriend asked me if I slept well. I said no, I made a couple mistakes." — Steven Wright, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#201 The only one-syllabled U.S. state is Maine.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly she could make a freight train take a gravel road.
One Liners
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Quick Joke
Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
A farmer has a farm with about 600 hens but no roosters. The farmer decides that he needs a rooster for his farm.
He goes to the closest farm and asks the farmer if he has a rooster for sale. The Farmer says "Yes, actually I do. Feel free to take it, His name is Randy".
After paying the farmer the man takes the rooster back to his farm, sits him down and says "Randy, I want you to pace yourself, I want some chicks, but just take your time and have some fun". Randy seems to understand and goes bolting to the hen house. WHAM!. Randy nails every hen 3 or 4 times. The farmer is amazed.
Then Randy sees some geese down by the river. He bolts down there and WHAM!. Nails every goose and duck that was there. By the end of day the farmer is astounded and figures that at this pace Randy will just drop dead.
In the morning The farmer goes outside and sure enough there's Randy laying there on the ground not moving with vultures circling him.
The farmer says "Poor Randy. He exhausted himself. He nailed so many things he died".
Then Randy opens one eye slightly and says "SHHHHH, There getting closer!"
tootie frutiy
(0 replies)
started by
lucky2
(08.01.2000 10:47:48 PM EST)
from goofy2
tootie fruity
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(08.01.2000 10:26:04 PM EST)
A COMUTER ON HIS WAY HOME ONE DAY
SPOTS A ROAD SIDE STAND."EXOTIC FRUIT" HE PULLS OVER TO ENQUIRE.
WHAT IS SO EXOTIC ABOUT YOUR FRUIT
HE ASKS THE VENDOR. THE VENDOR SAYS:
THIS FRIUT IS MAGIC IT CAN TASTE LIKE ANYTHING YOU DESIRE. THE MAN IS DOUBTFUL BUT ASKS HOW MUCH DOES IT COSTS. THE VENDOR REPLYS 200.00
HAHH SAYS THE MAN YOU MUST BE KIDDING. THE VENDOR SAYS OK I WILL
GIVE YOU A SAMPLE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU DON'T PAY. THE MAN AGREES.
HE BITES THE FRUIT. "WOW THAT TASTES
LIKE THE BEST STEAK I'VE EVER EATEN.
TURN IT AROUND THE VENDOR SAYS. WOW
THATS TASTES LIKE WATERMELON. TURN IT AROUND THE VENDOR SAYS. WOW THAT
TASTES LIKE MY FAVORITE DRINK A MARGARITTA. CAN YOU MAKE A FRUIT TASTE LIKE ANYTHING IWANT HE ASKS?
THE VENDOR SAYS SURE FOR THE PRICE.
OK SAYS THE MAN CAN YOU MAKE IT TASTE LIKE A WOMAN. NO PROBLEM SAYS THE VENDOR AS HE HANDS HIM THE FRUIT. THE MAN TAKES A BITE AND
SPITS IT OUT INSTANTLY AND SAYS"
MY GOD THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT. THE VENDOR SAYS "WELL TURN IT AROUND"
Ooops.....
(0 replies)
started by
Julz
(07.29.2000 0:23:34 AM EST)
THEY'RE
correction....`
(0 replies)
started by
Julz
(07.29.2000 0:22:00 AM EST)
THERY'RE not THERE....getting closer....
Oh Yeah!
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(07.28.2000 12:36:14 PM EST)
That was a pretty fucking good joke, I must admit.
Finally
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(07.28.2000 8:00:19 AM EST)
It's about Goddamn time somebody put something original on this website!
hey
(0 replies)
started by
itappers2b
(07.28.2000 1:58:36 AM EST)
the fucking vultures are getting closer i get it.
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