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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Roundtable Interview of the President by White House Press Pool," June 4, 2003 "I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries." —Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"Guitar-groups have no future."
—EMI-manager for Beatles 1962
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Snapple Facts |
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#188 Antarctica is the driest, coldest, windiest, and highest continent on earth.
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Yo Mama ... |
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You were born out of your mother's arse 'cause her Twat was too busy.
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One Liners |
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Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.
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 Don't Do Drugs | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 02/25/1999 | | |  |
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Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and
appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem
like
nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance
rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try
to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up
drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the
first one "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs
forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a
diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like
this:
__
/
| | O
\__/
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before
drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. The judge turns and asks
the second guy, "And you, how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs
forever."
"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do
that!"
"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small
circle and told them, 'this is your anus before prison.'"
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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if only
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(02.02.2001 0:29:11 AM EST)
If only quiting drugs was that simple. What a much more peaceful world this would be. If only there was one judge in this whole world that would actually let drug realted charges off that easy.
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if only
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(02.02.2001 0:28:38 AM EST)
If only quiting drugs was that simple. What a much more peaceful world this would be. If only there was one judge in this whole world that would actually let drug realted charges off that easy.
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Saluda, South Carolina
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.11.2000 10:35:27 AM EST)
it sucks the big one
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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In the early days of silent films, there was blatant thievery. Unscrupulous film companies would steal the film print, reshoot a scene or two, and release it as a new production. The combat this, the Biograph company put the company's trademark initials AB somewhere in every scene -- on a door, a wall, or window. Source: "Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts"
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