Tales
By: acidinterval	Published: 03/25/2003
PINOCCHIO Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?" CINDERELLA Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin. " Cinderella agrees to be home by 2a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly...Peter Peter, something or other..." MICKEY MOUSE Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy." RED RIDING HOOD Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!" SNOW WHITE Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!" Oh ...by the way, did you know Captain Hook died from jock itch? Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (03.26.2003 7:14:09 AM EST) || /

I think (5 replies) started by marvin (03.25.2003 2:13:05 PM EST) we should leave the text joke section to Grandpatron, if he's not codemning the post here he's posting the punchline to tomorrows joke on the message board for every one to marvel at his "cleverness" .... I've got news for you GP it's more like we just laugh at your stupidity. The section is all yours GP .... What happened to the maxim of "if you don't like it, shut up and say nothing" or maybe "go somewhere else for your entertainment" ? Just stop knocking every post and spoiling other peoples enjoyment. Ooops I'm not American so I'm not allowed to express an opinion that is contrary to one of God's own people am I ?

The Mickey Mouse one ..... (0 replies)   started by thegrandpatron (03.25.2003 7:20:39 AM EST) is an all time favorite of mine. The rest I've never repeated, if you know what I mean.

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