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"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us." —Bush, introducing Alma Powell, wife of Secretary of State Colin Powell Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on FirstAnniversary of the USA Freedom Corps," Jan. 30, 2003

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"When I was in prison I was wrapped up in all those deep books. That Tolstoy crap. People shouldn't read that stuff. When we read these books what purpose does it serve in this day and time?"
—Mike Tyson, Boxer

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#192 Jupiter spins so fast that there is a new sunrise nearly every ten hours.

Yo Mama ...
so fat she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.

One Liners
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Married Life

By: bigtomatoPublished: 11/03/2000
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A mother had three daughters and at their weddings, she asked them to remember to write home and tell her about their married life.

The first daughter wrote back on the second day. The letter arrived with a single message: "Maxwell Coffee House." The mother was confused but finally noticed a Maxwell coffee ad, and it said, "Good to the last drop..." So the mother was happy.

Then the second daughter got married and after a week she sent home her reply. The message read: "Rothmans." So the mother looked for the Rothmans ad, and it said, "LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE." And the mother was happy.

Then it was the third one's wedding. The mother was anxious. It took four weeks for a message to come through. When it did the message was simply: "BRITISH AIRWAYS."

The mother was so concerned. She frantically went through all the newspapers at home looking for a BA ad. When she found one she fainted.


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    This Section


    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I'm Energizer! (0 replies)
    started by duck888
    (11.06.2000 1:24:08 PM EST)

    Nothing stops Energizer. It keeps going, and going, and going....

    Thats a good one (0 replies)
    started by mizike
    (11.05.2000 6:18:28 PM EST)

    "Lets make ketchup together"

    I think I'm gonna puke...

    LOL!! (0 replies)
    started by sweetiepeach
    (11.03.2000 3:37:44 PM EST)

    Great joke!! :)


    Maybe Pokesmot656.... (0 replies)
    started by latertater
    (11.03.2000 8:58:11 AM EST)

    could write about being like the Maytag Repairman..."the loneliest man alive." I doubt that juvenile would venture outside the uncensored area of Goofball to read this though!


    Now that's a joke! (0 replies)
    started by NakedCanuck
    (11.03.2000 0:59:27 AM EST)

    I have a love/hate for jokes like this: love the humour, hate the reality that I don't live like a British Airways ad.

    The Naked CanuckEverybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

    lol (0 replies)  
    started by bigtomato
    (11.03.2000 0:04:04 AM EST)

    this is the best joke! :)

    im a bad, bad girl.. do i hafta go to your room now? :) i hope! is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

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    Goofball Facts
    Andy Warhol created the Rolling Stone's emblem depicting the big tongue. It first appeared on the cover of the "Sticky Fingers" album.