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Porn Mythology

By: racpaPublished: 04/01/2001
 
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Thirty things porn producers would have you believe...
  1. Women wear high heels to bed.
  2. Men are never impotent.
  3. When going down on a woman, ten seconds is more than satisfactory.
  4. If a woman gets caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
  5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
  6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
  7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
  8. Women always orgasm when men do.
  9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine.
  10. All women are noisy.
  11. People in the 70's couldn't have sex unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
  12. Those tits are real.
  13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
  14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
  15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).
  16. Double penetration makes women smile.
  17. Asian men don't exist.
  18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your penis in his girlfriend's mouth.
  19. There's a plot.
  20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
  21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
  22. Men always pull out.
  23. When your girlfriend catches you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
  24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
  25. When a woman is sucking a man's penis, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
  26. Assholes are clean.
  27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
  28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a penis there.
  29. Men don't have to beg.
  30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Also, (0 replies)
    started by Frodo
    (04.03.2001 0:01:11 AM EST)

    If men didn't have to beg, prostitutes - and porn producers - might go broke!

    Frodo Goofball@aol.com

    Mixed Bag Here... (0 replies)
    started by Frodo
    (04.02.2001 11:57:48 PM EST)

    I prefer that 1, 3, 7, 10, 11, & 14 aren't true anyway; on the other hand, 2, 4, 24, 26, & 29 WOULD be nice!

    Frodo Goofball@aol.com

    Gee, I don't know what to say.. (0 replies)
    started by willi
    (04.02.2001 4:40:14 AM EST)

    My responses to every one of these so called fallacies:
    1: Anytime, just loose the jammies.
    2: In my case, this is TRUE!!!
    3: Since I can hold my breath for a minute, I am six times better than satisfactory.
    4: TRUE AGAIN!
    5: Originated the term, "Thank you sir, may I please have another!"
    6: , just ask Ron Jeremy!
    7: Yet the neighbors never complain.
    8: In my case, she always gets satisfied first, otherwise how can I splat her face with my sperm.
    9: Being an officer of the law, "NO COMMENT".
    10: Refer to No. 7
    11: One good lick deserves another!
    12: Do I have to read the ingredient list before I stick these things in my mouth, too?
    13: I gotta keep a beat to a wild guitar solo! (sorry, that's the seventies me talking)
    14: Some say "oh yeah"; I just say "look out, this could take an eye out!"
    15: If she's a cheerleader, she'll shake her pom-poms for us while we're celebrating.
    16: It may not make her smile but it will definitely make me smile.
    17: TRUE AGAIN!
    18: Hey, this is the same guy that I was "high fiving" three statements ago. Hell no, he won't mind!
    No 19: Definitely, and it all leads to an exciting climax in the end.
    No 20: ...with my half-erect penis.
    No. 21: With my HMO, no way!
    No. 22: ...otherwise, how do you splat her face with sperm?
    No. 23: Fortunately, your girlfriend's best friend is the same guy that you were "high fiving" in statement 15, so yeah, she would fuck both of us.
    No 24: As long as you have a harem, you never have to deal with the headaches of the "headaches or periods".
    No. 25: It is more important for him to remind her to "watch the teeth!"
    No. 26: If they're not, why would I be sticking my tongue in them?
    No 27: "A spectacular cumback!"
    No 28: Thank God, not another crossdresser!
    No 29: Men do have to beg; women need only to ask.
    No 30: I prefer to have one hand firmly on my hip while having the other hand proudly planted on the back of her head.

    "get ahead while getting head!"

    #33 (0 replies)
    started by oxbrain
    (04.01.2001 2:57:59 PM EST)

    All women shave...

    "It ain't imoral if it's only oral"

    #32 (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (04.01.2001 11:54:08 AM EST)

    All women enjoy having a cock rammed up their ass, with no preparation whatsoever.

    Warning: do not try this at home!


    I still live my life in the fast lane.........I just get run over a lot more often now.
    ya missed one (0 replies)
    started by malcom
    (04.01.2001 8:45:47 AM EST)

    31.Their web site is the best and totally free.

    porn (0 replies)  
    started by jbale469
    (04.01.2001 0:04:15 AM EST)

    i love porno

    Keep it Real and Keep it Wrapped!

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