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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
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George W. Bush |
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"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."Source: ABC News Transcripts, "President Bush and First Lady Bush '20/20' Year-End Interview," Dec. 13, 2002
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Random Quote |
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"AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, 'The check's in the mail', people are going to say, 'Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote.' "
— Jay Leno, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#223 The Basenji is the only type of dog that does not bark.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly they turn off the cameras when she walks into a bank!
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One Liners |
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Q: What do tofu and dildos have in common?
A: They're both meat substitutes.
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 NewlyWeds | | By: Jskills | Published: 12/01/1998 | | |  |
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A young farmer couple got married, and they just couldn't seem to get
enough lovin'. Just before leaving the house for the fields at dawn,
they made love, and when the husband returned home at
evening they
had another go - both before and after supper, and then again a
few more times during the night.
The problems only happened during the day. The fields were far away from
the house and the young man lost half an hour each time traveling home and
back again at noon. Finally he decided to consult a friend, the town's
doctor, about what to do.
"Easiest thing in the world, Homer" said the doctor. "You take your rifle
out with you every day don't you? Well, when you feel like
you're
in the mood for some lovin', just fire a shot into the air as a signal to
your wife, for her to come out to you. That way you won't lose any workin'
time."
Homer tried his friend's solution and it seemed to work pretty well for a
while. One day though, the doctor stopped by the house to pay a visit and
he noticed Homer sitting alone inside looking very somber.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Didn't my idea work? And where's your wife?"
"Oh, it worked" says Homer. "Whenever I got
in the mood I fired
off a shot like you said, and Beckie'd come runnin'. Then we'd
find a secluded place and make love. Then Beckie'd go back home."
"So what's the problem?"
"Well I think I overdid it, Doc. I ain't seen hide nor hair
of Beckie since hunting season got started..."
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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Jackie's Joke of the Day - July 11, 2000
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Condom Mystery
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Goofball Facts |
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Devon is the only county in Great Britain to have two coasts.
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