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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
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George W. Bush |
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"It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national - really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it."-George W. Bush, Feb. 8, 2001
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Random Quote |
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"It's more relaxed here. It's an atmosphere I can relate to. In Oakland it was always win, win, win - you get fed up with it."
— Jose Canseco
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Snapple Facts |
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#19 Children grow faster in the spring.
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Yo Mama ... |
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... is so fat, She can lay down and stand up, and her height doesn't change!
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One Liners |
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Q. What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her wedding night?
A. His last name.
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 The Best At ... | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 02/21/1999 | | |  |
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A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar in Newark, thinking
about his wretched life, when he spots a fabulous babe walking
in
on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the bartender about
her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He
watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so
attractive could be available to him.
The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she
shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve
and approaches her.
"Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno.
What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from
there.."
"$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front
door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked
outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on
hand jobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell..
He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable
experience
he's ever had. This hand job was better than any complete sexual
experience in his miserable life.
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to
show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her.
"Last night was incredible!"
"Of course it was. Just wait til you try one of my blow
jobs.."
"How much is that?"
"$500"
"$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!"
"You see that apartment building across the
street?" The guy
looks out front at a 12 story apartment building.
"I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blow
jobs.Trust me, it's worth it." Based on the night before, the
guy decides to go for it.
He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He
nearly faints — twice.
The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows
up.
"I'm hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for
some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the
street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan.
"You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon! You can't mean that!"
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own
Manhattan!"
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More Sex Jokes...
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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90 percent of women who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right.
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