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George W. Bush
 
"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, andas we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, wereally don't need anybody's permission."—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century) Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq inNational Press Conference," March 6, 2003
 
 

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"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
— Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm haddestroyed 20 books. (1991)
 
 

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National Condom Week

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 12/01/1998
 
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The following is a list of possible slogans promoting National Condom Week.

  1. Cover your stump before you hump.

  2. Before you attack her, wrap your wacker.

  3. Don't be silly ... protect your willy.

  4. Before you blast her, guard your bushmaster.

  5. Don't be a loner ... cover your boner.

  6. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.

  7. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.

  8. If yor're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

  9. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

  10. Before you bag her, sheath your dagger.

  11. It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

  12. If you slip between thighs, be sure to condomize.

  13. To save embarrassment later, cover your 'gator.

  14. She won't be sick if you wrap your dick.

  15. If you go into heat, package your meat.

  16. While undressing Venus, dress that penis.

  17. When you take off her pants and blouse, suit-up that trouser mouse.

  18. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

  19. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

  20. Befo' da van start rockin', be sho' yo' cock got a stockin'.

  21. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

  22. The right selection? Sack that erection.

  23. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

  24. A crank with armor will never harm her.

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    (08.19.2000 3:10:50 PM EST)

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