Two old friends were about to tee off at the first hole on their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag walked up to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome here." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and each other's company. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful rifle," said the other friend, Can I take a look? I think I can see my house from here. So he picked up the weapon and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow! I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha-Ha! I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... He's naked, too!!! That bitch!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one-thousand-dollars each time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, my wife. She's always been a "smart mouth," so shoot her in the mouth."
" Then do the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here."
