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New Rules of Golf

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 09/05/2002
 
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(1) Each golfer receives 2 mulligans, to be taken anywhere except in a sand trap or on the green, for every nine holes played without penalty, unless the golfer needs more.

(2) Whenever not on the green or in a sand trap the golfer may move the ball 2 club head lengths, unless really in trouble in which case the golfer may move the ball two club lengths, in any direction.

(3) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have travelled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from that point. Preferably atop a firm tuft of grass.

(4) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is somewhere on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else. Therefore it becomes a stolen ball. You should not compound the felony by charging yourself with a penalty stroke.

(5) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in atmosphere without support must drop. The laws of gravity supercede the laws of golf.

(6) The same thing holds for a ball that stops at the brink of a hole and hangs there, defying gravity. You cannot defy the law! Same rule applies to a ball that rims a cup. A ball moving sideways defies the law of physics.

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    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  
    Title: Non-Golfer question
    By: marvin
    Date: 09.05.2002 7:20 AM EST

    what's a mulligan ?

    (the thought of it spoilt the humour of the joke)

    [ All Posts ] [ Reply ] [ Where You Are ] [ New Thread ]

    Current Thread and Replies
    Non-Golfer question  
    started by marvin
    (09.05.2002 7:20:30 AM EST)

    what's a mulligan ?

    (the thought of it spoilt the humour of the joke)

    Mulligan
    by thegrandpatron
    (09.05.2002 7:18:43 PM EST)

    it's when someone hits a bad shot, then hits another ball and doesn't count the bad one. He plays (and keeps score) like he never hit it.
    Kind of a "Do Over".

    So a mulligan
    by marvin
    (09.05.2002 8:03:38 PM EST)

    is when you're up to shenanigans with your score .... how very Irish ! LOL

    Larry
    by malcom
    (09.06.2002 7:22:44 AM EST)

    I think you'll find the Scots invented the game,not the Irish.

    What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

    One less drunk at the funeral.

    God I love that joke.

    My favorite:
    by thegrandpatron
    (09.06.2002 7:33:50 AM EST)

    An Irishman and a Jew were walking down the street. When they met a beautiful hot babe walking towards them.
    The Irishman said, "Hey let's fuck her".
    The Jew asks, "Fuck her out of what?"

    Yeah,I heard that one....
    by malcom
    (09.06.2002 2:09:29 PM EST)

    And if memory serves me right,I heard it from you in a reply to someone else.
    Sorry to eavesdrop but I need all I can get.

    What's a Jewish woman's favorite wine?

    "How come you never take me to Miami?"

    BAHAHAHAAHA


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