Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
  • "Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side—is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy." —Bush, speaking to reporters Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003
  •  
     

    Random Quote
     
    "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
    — Robin Williams, Comedian
     
     

    Snapple Facts
     
    #217 Blackboard chalk contains no chalk.
     
     

    Yo Mama ...
     
    so ugly she'd scare a buzzard off a gut wagon.
     
     

    One Liners
     
    Q: Why do women have tits?
    A: So men will talk to them.
     
     


    Exercises to prepare for Ski Season

    By: verticlPublished: 11/30/1998
     
    Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

    16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
    15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
    14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
    13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.

    12. Throw a hundred dollar bill away-now.
    11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
    10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
    9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
    8. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
    7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
    6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
    5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
    4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
    3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
    2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
    1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing.

    Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

    Related Links
  • Exercise, Excercise
  • Hollywood typing exercise
  • Ski Gear
  • Ski-slope
  • Skiing Lesson
  • Home skiing
  • Yo Mama is so fat ...
  • New State Mottos
  • Strange Facts
  • Sibling Rivalry Reaches New Highs
  • Just Joking Said the Carjacker
  • Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us
  • Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us
  • Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
  • Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
  • Susie the Painter
  • Dead Man Invites 250 To Funeral Bash
  • Hotham Ass Meat
  • A Real Workout
  • Motivation Series: Ineptitude

  • More Sports Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

    You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Baseball in Hell
    Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys ...
    05.10.2008

    The Gutter
    "Do you remember first meeting your wife?"
    04.13.2008

    Scots Golfer
    An 80-year old Scot goes to the doctor ...
    12.19.2007

    Ever Hear Of A Mexican Golf Gun?
    Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder ...
    12.16.2007

    Rate This!

    3.09 Goofballs of 5
    78 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Anthill Golfing
    Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. ...
    11.12.2006

    This Hunter Just Don't Get It
    Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes ...
    10.31.2006

    Lamaze Class
    The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, ...
    10.17.2006

    Tiger in Ireland
    On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
    08.15.2006

    Two Years Ago
    The Perfect Shot
    A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, ...
    04.15.2006

    Golf Truisms
    Golf balls are like eggs ... they're white. They're ...
    02.16.2006

    Romance In The Rough
    These four golfers are on the tee. Three of the guys ...
    01.29.2006

    The Golfing Hit Man
    Two old friends were about to tee off at the first hole on their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag walked up to them ...
    12.09.2005

    Lookie Here!
    Austin Powers: International Man of...

    Goofball Facts
     
    If you lace your shoes from the inside to the outside the fit will be snugger around your big toe.