"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001
Random Quote
"Guys aren't albe to get $15 or $20 million [a year] anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game." — Orlando Magic star Penny Hardaway, bemoaning the NBA's new salary cap
Snapple Facts
#73 The average person spends 2 weeks of it's life waiting for a traffic light to change.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat she stands in two time zones.
One Liners
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite.
A ninety-six-year old man had a doctor's appointment, and as he
was a bit deaf, he took his wife with him to help communicate.
The doctor told him to take his shirt off. The old man shouted
"What did he say?"
The wife got a little closer and yelled "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!"
The old man took his shirt off.
The doctor then asked him to open his mouth so he could look
down his throat. "What did he say?" shouted the man.
His wife leaned over close to his ear and yelled "OPEN YOUR
MOUTH!"
The old man opened his mouth.
The doctor examined him, and when it was all over the doctor
said "All we need now is a urine sample, a semen sample, and a
stool sample."
The old man shouted "WHAT?"
His wife got closer and yelled into his ear "THE DOCTOR WANTS
YOUR UNDERPANTS!"
Avoid socialism at all costs. The government which rules least---rules best.
Keep the Pros out of the Olympics.
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Women Are Evil By Nature A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers ...
12.14.2006
Two Years Ago
Little Old Ladies Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having ...
06.17.2006
