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George W. Bush
 
"A new Iraq will also need a humane, well-supervised prison system."—Bush, speaking at Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004
 
 

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"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
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Q: Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highway.
 
 


Assorted One Liners

By: acidintervalPublished: 05/12/2008
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.

Q. Why do Driver Education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex-Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A. The Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale???
A. A Northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' A Southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States .

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    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    This was pretty (0 replies)  
    started by bd2son
    (05.12.2008 9:50:59 AM EST)


    funny in 1989 when I recieved it by fax, but still applicable currently.

    (_E=mcē_)

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