Q:
Which sexual
position produces the ugliest children?
A:
Ask your mom.
Q:
How do you embarrass
an archeologist?
A:
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it
came from.
Q:
What did the
cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A:
Wiped his ass.
Q:
How can you tell if
your wife is dead?
A:
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q:
What do the
gynecologist and the Pizza delivery man
have in common?
A:
They both get to smell the goods but neither one
of them can eat it.
Q:
How can you tell if
you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A:
The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q:
What do you call a
prostitute with a runny nose?
A:
Full.
Q:
What's the
difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A:
Oral sex makes your day,
anal sex makes your hole
weak.
Q:
How is pubic hair
like parsley?
A:
You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q:
What is blonde, has
six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?
A:
Hanson.
Q:
If your wife keeps
coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done
wrong?
A:
Made her chain too long.
Q:
How do you
circumcise a hillbilly?
A:
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q:
What do you call a
dog with 4" legs and 6" steel balls?
A:
Sparky.
Q:
What's the
difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A:
Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.
Q:
What's the
difference between Michael Jackson and
greyhound racing?
A:
The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q:
What's somewhat
brown and often found in children's underpants?
A:
Michael Jackson's hand.
Q:
How is a woman like
a condom?
A:
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your
dick.
Q:
What is the
similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A:
By
the time you've finished with the breast and
thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q:
How are tornadoes
and marriage alike?
A:
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing,
and in the end you lose your house.
Q:
Why doesn't Mexico
have an Olympic team?
A:
Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are
already in the U.S.
Q:
What's the
difference between a bitch and a whore?
A:
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a
bitch sleeps with
everybody at the party except you.
Q:
What's the
difference between love, true love and showing off?
A:
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
