If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes", delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any
disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk turns to curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, mess up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your root beer and leave
its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back.
Such is the power of Badtimes -- it
reaches beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tagsfrom your mattresses and pillows and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
