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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." J. Danforth Quayle
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Snapple Facts |
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#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
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One Liners |
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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
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 When Technology Fails | | By: Verticl | Published: 02/09/1999 | | |  |
| An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her ,family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.
Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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Goofball Facts |
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Gene Simmons' tongue is over 7 inches long.
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