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George W. Bush
 
"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Alexander for Senate Luncheon," Sept. 17, 2002
 
 

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—Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers. (1991)
 
 

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New Computer Viruses

By: obxbeachbumPublished: 12/10/2004
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    The Sleepwalker Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:39:59 PM EST)


    causes your computer to spit out all 3 1/2 floppies

    The TeeJ Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:38:54 PM EST)


    changes all your passwords to peewee

    waaaaaaa hahahaha

    The Grand Patron Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:36:21 PM EST)


    Ages your computer so fast there is no hard drive left

    these are (0 replies)  
    started by bigjohn2
    (12.10.2004 8:17:03 PM EST)

    all bad viruses and funny stuff...

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