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George W. Bush
"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Alexander for Senate Luncheon," Sept. 17, 2002

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"He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that means we're not going to any more bowl games.'"
—Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers. (1991)

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#157 The first TV soap opera debuted in 1946.

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Q: Why do Texans like big tits and tight pussies?
A: 'cause they have big mouths and tiny dicks!

New Computer Viruses

By: obxbeachbumPublished: 12/10/2004
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The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of

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  • More Technology Jokes...


    This Section


    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    The Sleepwalker Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:39:59 PM EST)

    causes your computer to spit out all 3 1/2 floppies

    The TeeJ Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:38:54 PM EST)

    changes all your passwords to peewee

    waaaaaaa hahahaha

    The Grand Patron Virus (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (10.31.2005 7:36:21 PM EST)

    Ages your computer so fast there is no hard drive left

    these are (0 replies)  
    started by bigjohn2
    (12.10.2004 8:17:03 PM EST)

    all bad viruses and funny stuff... is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

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