Nerd Sayings
By: BillGates	Published: 12/02/1998
1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. 3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. 5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL 9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN 10. <--- The information went data way ---> 11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression. 12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. 13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. 14. The name is Baud, James Baud. 15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! 17. C:> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner! 18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. 19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!' 20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. 21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups. 23. E Pluribus Modem 24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny. 26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. 27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. 28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)? 29. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. 31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium. 32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? 33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. 34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . 36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk? 37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. 38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure. 39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... 40. All computers wait at the same speed. 41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors. 42. Go ahead, make my data! 43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... 44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... 45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! 46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. 47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! 48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? 49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981 51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS 52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS 53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... 54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one! 55. Press -- to continue ... Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz (0 replies) started by stevenjlafferty (01.30.2001 11:17:15 AM EST) Oh sorry i fell asleep with my finger on the scroll button after reading the first few lines!!!!

I READ THE FIRST 5 or 6 (0 replies) started by KaptainAype (11.14.2000 7:20:17 PM EST) I READ THE FIRST FEW AND I WAS OUTRAGED!!! THIS SUCKS ASS!!! I CANT BELIEVE SOME MOFO THOUGHT OF THESE!!! THEY ARE NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!! TAKE THIS OFF THE SITE IT IS A DISGRACE!!!! HOW DO U ALLOW THIS ON YOUR SITE!?!>!?!?!?!?!?? -=KaP'N AyPe=- You Filthy Ape Ass Bitch <^>(0żo)<^>

lame (0 replies) started by kngnothen (10.19.2000 9:17:15 PM EST) this is so lame whoever typed all of this has NO LIFE

so funny i forgot to ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz (0 replies)   started by Anonymous Goofball (07.13.2000 1:33:15 AM EST) i am ashamed this is the dumbest thing i have ever seen on your site get rid of it

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