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George W. Bush
 
"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves." - Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
— Tom Clancy
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#34 If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She uses the carpet as a blanket!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A. Juan on Juan
 
 

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Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
 
 


Nerd Sayings

By: BillGatesPublished: 12/02/1998
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

5. Computers make very fast, very accurate
mistakes.

6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL

9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN

10. <--- The information went data way --->

11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression.

12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.

14. The name is Baud, James Baud.

15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

17. C:> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!

18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
Staaay..

19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or
filename!'

20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology
amusing.

21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.

23. E Pluribus Modem

24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the
Etherbunny.

26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral
available.

27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error
correcting.

28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington
D.C. (Y/N)?

29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?

30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbor's Pentium.

32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a
case...coincidence?

33. Disinformation is not as good as
datinformation.

34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my
disk?

37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

40. All computers wait at the same speed.

41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.

42. Go ahead, make my data!

43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient
voltage.

47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to
continue.

50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981

51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to
CONFIG.SYS

52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

53. Press any key to continue or any other key to
quit...

54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT
one!

55. Press -- to continue ...

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz (0 replies)
    started by stevenjlafferty
    (01.30.2001 11:17:15 AM EST)

    Oh sorry i fell asleep with my finger on the scroll button after reading the first few lines!!!!

    I READ THE FIRST 5 or 6 (0 replies)
    started by KaptainAype
    (11.14.2000 7:20:17 PM EST)

    I READ THE FIRST FEW AND I WAS OUTRAGED!!! THIS SUCKS ASS!!! I CANT BELIEVE SOME MOFO THOUGHT OF THESE!!! THEY ARE NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!! TAKE THIS OFF THE SITE IT IS A DISGRACE!!!! HOW DO U ALLOW THIS ON YOUR SITE!?!>!?!?!?!?!??

    -=KaP'N AyPe=- You Filthy Ape Ass Bitch <^>(0żo)<^>

    lame (0 replies)
    started by kngnothen
    (10.19.2000 9:17:15 PM EST)

    this is so lame whoever typed all of this has NO LIFE

    so funny i forgot to ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (07.13.2000 1:33:15 AM EST)

    i am ashamed this is the dumbest thing i have ever seen on your site get rid of it

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