"I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news. And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world." —Bush, redefining "objectivity." Source: CNN, "Bush 'Not Paying Attention' to Democratic Race: President Getting His News From Aides," Sept. 23, 2003
Random Quote
" I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. " —Fry and Laurie
Snapple Facts
#183 The Capitol building in Washington DC has 365 steps to represent every day of the year.
Yo Mama ...
lips is so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
One Liners
Q. Did you hear about the Polish Special Forces? A. They raided Macy's because they heard Bed Linen was on the 4th floor.
Teknolgy Fer Contry Folks
By: Anonymous
Published: 12/10/1998
LOG ON - Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF - Don't add no more wood.
DOWNLOAD - Gettin the farwood off the truk.
UPLOAD - When ya'll pile into the truk ta go ta church.
MEGA HERTZ - When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood.
FLOPPY DISC - Whatcha git from tryin' to carry too much firwood.
RAM - That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
DELETE - Movie-stars an rich folk.
HARD DRIVE - Gettin home in the winter time.
PROMPT - Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
WINDOWS - Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN - Whut to shut when it's blak fly season.
BYTE - Whut dem horse flys do.
CHIP - Munchies fer the TV.
MICRO CHIP - Whut's left in the bottom of the munchie bag.
MODEM - Whacha did to the hey fields.
DOT MATRIX - Old Dan Matrix's wife.
LAP TOP - Whar the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD - Whar ya hang the ole keys.
SOFTWARE - Them dumb plastic forks and knifs.
HARDWARE - What you buy at the tool store.
TYPING - When yer sortin' out males from females in a litter.
MOUSE - What eats the grain in the barn.
MAIN FRAME - Holds up the barn ruf.
ENTER - Northerner talk fer, C'Mon in Y'all.
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the hayrake when yer wife asks.
FAX - What Dot Matrix and Lulabelle Hiemerman shars with everybody when they visit - They knows some fax abut pert near everyone.
FEEDBACK - When ya cain't keep yer dinner down.
MOUSE PAD - That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
FILES - What'cha sharpen the ax blade with.
PRINTING - When the cat leaves dirty paw tracks on the hood of pick-up.
LASER - A fool dog that won't work.
SATELLITE - A saddle that ain't heavy.
HARD (er) DRIVE - Haulin' a big load of manure over teh hill to fertilize the field.
INTERNET - Whut ya want the fish down at the pond to do.
THE WEB - Wut gets stuck in yer hair an on yer clothes when ya walk through granny's attic.
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aw yeah
(0 replies)
started by
PoolHallVixen
(01.21.2001 3:38:04 PM EST)
yes, I'm frst!!
That was stupid.
Never temp a tiger.
they bite.
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