People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I
point at mycrotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering
he has no penis.
People who are willing to get off their ass to search
the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and
change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake
and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
When people say "It's always in the last place you
look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've
found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see
that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at
frikken ceiling up there.
The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff
Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober
either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't
really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know
how fast you were going? You should know asshole you fucking pulled me over!
I'm a fast motherfucker,
Let me tell u 'bout it sucker,
If u fuck with me, I'll fuck ur mother.
Your sister too, and your best girlfriend.
