"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going toachieve those hurdles."Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush," Jan. 22,2003
Random Quote
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again." — Elayne Boosler, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#222 Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was composed by Mozart when he was five years old.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
One Liners
Q: What's the best thing about a bj? A: Ten minutes of silence.
1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella and you regularly watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 vacation days to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6PM.
17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than Macaroni & Cheese, Diet Pepsi & Ding Dongs.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
26. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you.
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MUAHAHAHA
(0 replies)
started by
oxbrain
(10.06.2002 0:08:32 AM EST)
I guess I'm still young
"It ain't imoral if it's only oral"
I couldn't find it
(0 replies)
started by
roger
(02.27.2002 10:16:49 AM EST)
the one sign that didn't apply to me. hahaha Good one Rob
Just protecting my sheep
How about this one?
(0 replies)
started by
bigswifty
(10.07.2001 11:52:42 AM EST)
you ask your friends if they know a good attorney rather than, "know any horny chicks?"
LOL Great list Rob.
I'm a grownup.
(4 replies)
started by
teddiebare
(10.06.2001 12:17:48 PM EST)
But I find that grownup activities make up for all of the activities you lost when you grew up. I can think of several grownup activities right now that make it all worthwhile - **grin**
LMAO@#26
(0 replies)
started by
tjshere
(10.06.2001 9:40:28 AM EST)
#27. That "toothpaste" in the corner of your mouth turns out to be white moustache hairs.
Haha, these were funny, Rob. True, but funny anyway.
They have awakened a sleeping giant. Vengeance will be ours!
Damn !
(0 replies)
started by
marvin
(10.06.2001 3:48:09 AM EST)
It's all true (apart from the potted plants) LOL
Gee
(0 replies)
started by
lepervier
(10.06.2001 1:01:29 AM EST)
i must have grown up. Good one Rob
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