You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls.
You blow every paycheck on gerbils.
You get offended and/or turned on by the word "Fruit Loops."
Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap.
Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors.
Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons. You'd rather paddle his cute little ass.
You're best friends with the girl you took to your high school prom.
You think Pamela Anderson dresses nice.
You dress like Liberace on casual Fridays.
Your idea of "getting lucky" on the weekend is finding Ralph Lauren sheets on sale.
You start to cry when your boss says you can't have the day off for your birthday.
You don't know the score of the game last night, but you do remember that the players had some of the roundest asses you've ever seen.
When someone asks you if you're a pitcher or a catcher, your first thought isn't about baseball.
When you see a handsome police officer following you on the highway, you speed up instead of slowing down.
You've wondered if Batman and Robin share a bedroom.
You noticed that Ricky Martin shaved his chest for his last video.
You're the one everyone turns to when they need someone to plan a surprise party.
You can recite the next line of the following song: "The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction."
When viewing straight porn videos you watch the women give head and think, "they're not doing that right."
