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George W. Bush
 
"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq isliberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Taking Action to Strengthen Small BusinessRemarks by the President on the Economy," Jan. 22, 2003
 
 

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"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
— Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D. (1987)
 
 

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Great Truths About Life Children Have Learned

By: AnonymousPublished: 03/27/1999
 
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1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

8. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

9. School lunches stick to the wall.

10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

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