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George W. Bush
 
"A new Iraq will also need a humane, well-supervised prison system."—Bush, speaking at Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004
 
 

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"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
— Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
 
 

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#144 Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is like a TV. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
 
 

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Q: Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highway.
 
 


Reform school for drivers

By: darksteelePublished: 09/02/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing up your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

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lol (0 replies)
started by pontfirebird94
(02.15.2001 4:45:03 PM EST)

very funny, loved it, at the start it was funny to the end.

cali-duh (1 reply)
started by stupidfuck
(12.27.2000 6:10:08 PM EST)

fucking cali-retards suck. i wish the big one would finally hit and send all of those freaky fucks to the bottom of the pacific motherfucking ocean!

jumpinjeezuzonafrigginpogostick!

??? (0 replies)
started by clio16v
(07.24.2000 9:07:04 AM EST)

Can civilians of the (apparently) greatest country in the world really be so fucking thick???

not that funny (0 replies)
started by naRaven
(06.21.2000 1:08:34 PM EST)

it sounds too fake

awdf (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.14.2000 5:12:55 AM EST)

oh ha ha.....

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