Answering Machine Messages
By: Robnoxious	Published: 10/07/2000
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. And the Number 1 actual answering machine message recorded and verified by the world famous international institute of answering machine messages. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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(my own little message) (0 replies) started by SLOWMOFLY (11.03.2000 9:22:39 AM EST) HI!!...............HOW YOU DOING!!.....WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!..........YA!..YA! A MESSAGE NOW. ---BEEEEP--- if i want your opinion i'll take my dick out of your mouth!

telemarketers (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (10.29.2000 8:12:59 PM EST) Hi, if your a telemarketer, PISS OFF. If you are a lady, i'm not mean. Leave a message.

here is a nother one (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (10.24.2000 5:27:40 PM EST) keep it sort and keep it sweet or keep it to your self!!

Use These (0 replies) started by MarcusHalberstram (10.11.2000 5:41:01 PM EST) These are great

OLD (0 replies) started by SuzieQ (10.07.2000 11:28:00 PM EST) i have read this somewhere before, and i believe it was here!

I'm high....donut, you'd like it..lmao (0 replies) started by SuicideKing (10.07.2000 2:36:54 AM EST) oh, and I thought the #5 message was best, sounds like college ThË §ûÏçîÐê KïÑG He just keeps going, and going, and going....

Pretty good... (0 replies) started by oliverclozoff (10.07.2000 1:46:49 AM EST) ...I liked #2 the best. LOL! Take time to stop and smell the panties.

that was funny as hell.. (0 replies) started by rook30505 (10.07.2000 0:54:59 AM EST) now I gotta decide which one I'm gonna put on my answering machine "You da best he-bitch in my man-stable.If I had 2 more manginas like you,I'd be a millionare"

high (0 replies)   started by donut38 (10.07.2000 0:33:20 AM EST) no but i`d like to be

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