Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists."-ibid
 
 

Random Quote
 
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#100 In a year, the average person walks 4 miles makeing their bed.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid that she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do Princess Di and the Queen Mum have in common?
A. They both died pushing 102
 
 


Great Truths About Life Children Have Learned

By: AnonymousPublished: 03/27/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

8. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

9. School lunches stick to the wall.

10. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Children stone santa
  • 17 Children
  • The Perceptive Children
  • British Children's TV Hostess Takes It Off
  • Home Economics. Then And Now
  • Church bulletins
  • 'Cussing Canoer' Goes To Trial
  • Riddick Bowe Kidnaps Family
  • 21-Year-Old Babe On Bond for Bagging Underage Boy
  • Heroin Addicts Ignore Infirm Sister for a Year
  • Filipinos Urged To Suppress Their, Uh, Urges
  • The first part of you to go to Heaven
  • Schoolchildren in Drunken Riot
  • Teacher Who Stripped In Class Arrested
  • LifeSavers
  • Vulgar Q&A's
  • Women Speak in Estrogen and Men Listen in Testosterone
  • Stupid People Should Not Reproduce
  • Actual Letters Sent to Landlords...
  • Holiday Season Trivia

  • More Top Ten Lists Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

    You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Darwin Awards
    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the ...
    10.06.2008

    50 One Hit Wonders
    You may not recognize these albums, but you'll probably remember the songs that made these artists famous.
    08.21.2008

    Dumbest Criminal
    Colorado Springs: A guy walked into ...
    08.11.2008

    25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ...
    06.03.2008

    Rate This!

    2.90 Goofballs of 5
    62 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Darwin Awards
    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the ...
    10.06.2008

    50 One Hit Wonders
    You may not recognize these albums, but you'll probably remember the songs that made these artists famous.
    08.21.2008

    Dumbest Criminal
    Colorado Springs: A guy walked into ...
    08.11.2008

    25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ...
    06.03.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Top 10 Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags
    Top Ten Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags 10. “My other bag’s a Prada”
    04.25.2007

    You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If:
    You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if ...
    01.31.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Top Selling Videos

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    The average American eats at McDonalds 1,811 times in their life.