"I really appreciate the hardworking staff—the docs, the nurses, the people who make this fantastic facility operate in a way that makes me pride, and in a way that will make every American proud when they learn your story. "—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2003
Random Quote
"At one point we decided to fight fire with fire. Well... basically... your house burned even faster." — Anonymous Fireman
Snapple Facts
#163 The first penny had the motto "Mind your own business".
Yo Mama ...
is so bald you can see what's on her mind
One Liners
Q: What has six legs and eats pussy? A: You, me and Ellen Degeneres.
1. The "Macy*s One Day Sale" Flu.
2. The "Drivers License Renewal Appointment" 24-Hour Virus.
3. The "Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early" Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains.
4. The "I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then" Mysterious Infection.
5. The "My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too Contagious To Come In To The Office" Disease.
6. The "I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening Appointments" Bout of Influenza.
7. The "There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a Day Off" Sickness.
8. The "It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager Again" General Ailment.
9. The "I've Screwed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the Music" Terminal Illness.
10. The "I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It" Infirmity.
How about
(0 replies)
started by
roger
(03.04.2002 9:51:44 AM EST)
the "I haven't sobered up yet" backdoor trots?
hahahaha
Just protecting my sheep
WTF??
(0 replies)
started by
tjshere
(03.04.2002 8:32:52 AM EST)
At what point is there ever a 2 month stretch with no federal holidays??
And how about the, "I need Tuesday off to recover from the 3-day weekend" infectious disease.
Never fear.....TJ's here!
Get back to work
(2 replies)
started by
malcom
(03.04.2002 6:15:25 AM EST)
Funny how nobody is ever sick on payday.Damn employees anyway.
The one I used to get most
(0 replies)
started by
marvin
(03.04.2002 3:38:08 AM EST)
from a female was "It's the twenty-eighth of the month and I've got a cold again", strangely it always lasted two days .... then back to work she came without a sniffle or cough to be heard.
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Don't Trust Anyone
Love the country, live to pee outside!
