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"We've had a great weekend here in the land of the enchanted."—Bush, referring to New Mexico, "The Land of Enchantment" Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Jobs and Growth in Albuquerque," May 12, 2003
 
 

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Some New Things To Ponder

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 06/29/2003
 
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How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

How can you say "The same difference" when, if they have the same differences, then they must be the same - not different?

Why is it called Greenland if it's all ice? Why is it called Iceland if it's all green?

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    just so you know for future reference (0 replies)
    started by donutncoffee
    (02.04.2004 5:05:41 PM EST)

    the fare goes up in a taxi no matter wether it is going forwards or backwards

    These were funny (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (06.30.2003 9:45:45 AM EST)


    and true.

    I liked:
    Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.

    2x0=LMAO... (0 replies)
    started by michaelcarl
    (06.29.2003 8:21:40 AM EST)

    Read a series of numbers to people with Zero in it, and watch how many say the letter O instead of Zero. 5^ GP

    A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery.

    Wow (0 replies)
    started by acidinterval
    (06.29.2003 3:12:26 AM EST)

    Why is abbreviation such a long word?

    Happy 4th Of JULY!!

    Here's another one (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (06.29.2003 0:52:09 AM EST)


    Why don't you wake me up when this is over?

    Hey Ole' Yeller, you still got plenty of time left pal.

    waaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahaha

    Hehehehe (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (06.29.2003 0:21:44 AM EST)

    These are all dead-on. I just wonder who has time to sit around and think them all up. Hehehehe, Good stuff, Patron.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

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