"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002
"He wants Texas back." Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican - born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations. (1981)
#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.
Yo Mama ...
is so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts!
1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.
2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
3) I don't know
what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a
6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and
7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10) Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about
12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn
13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely
14) No, my powers can only be used for good.
15) How about never? Is never good for you?
16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to
17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular
level I'm really quite busy.
24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive
25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
26) I see you've set aside this
special time to humiliate
yourself in public.
27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change
You must register to participate in this discussion.
(04.10.2001 3:43:16 AM EST)
Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.