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George W. Bush
"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"-Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

Random Quote
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
— Stephen Wright

Snapple Facts
#115 Bambo makes up 99% of a panda's diet.

Yo Mama ...
is so ugly when she was born they tinted her incubator.

One Liners
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

10 ways to know if you have PMS

By: robnoxiousPublished: 07/18/1999
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  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-***-****."
  6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
  8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
  9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

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    No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,silver,or purple.